today, i must say, was one of my more fulfilling days.emotionally or spiritually, doesn't matter, but i feel extremely satisfied.
morning there was school, and laura called after that and we met for a rather late lunch. nice feeling, going for lunch with an old friend. or rather, a friend you haven't seen in a while.
and at NIGHT, i went for my first youth meeting in the newly reformed youth group- project J. previously known as- anawhim, a name which paticularly disturbed me ( probably because it sounds like -and a whim). the name stands for 'project jesus'. anyway we had praise and worship, where father JJ lead us in hymns such as 'in his time' and 'spirit song'. it was quite nice, getting together like that. comforting being the word most apt.
after that, got into groups of 7 to discuss 'a moment in our lives which we thought jesus was most present'. i panicked beyond BELIEF. honestly, i wish i could say otherwise, but i rather shamefully admit, besides the other 6 in my group, i had never had a hardcore Godly moment in my life. some talked about being slain and feeling the spirit move them, in fact most did. what did i talk about? a time when i didn't do a paticular assignment that was due on that day, but the teacher had to go home after a while cuz he was too sick to come to class. i know, nothing unusual, but i did actually pray and plead for him not to come. and look what happened!
so yes, it was very nice, sharing in that way. everyone was extremely encouraging and receptive. and most were open whilst a couple refused to share personal experiences, not to be blamed, im sure. but im looking forward to next friday!
monday im off to malacca!
i am well aware that in many aspects im horribly immature. i make decisions which are extremely irrational, i say things without thinking, and i rely rather heavily on my gut. which has proven otherwise unreliable. i understand that, and i see the need to solve that problem. but i do not see it as a character flaw, so how could i be judged based on that? i honestly strongly object to people being judged on the decisions they make, as many people make wrong choices for reasons beyond their control- lack of forsight- panic- fright, and the list goes on. im irrational and irresponsible, that i know better than most, and i make terrible decisions that i know i will one day come to regret. it is a difficult thing, to be judged by the decisions you make, but it is another i will have to overcome.
and i have to make the right decisions.
goodbye everyone, a hug and a kiss.
