o levels.

hahahahaha! i foolishly remember commenting at the end of last year -"i think next year's going to go by very slowly"
and today i find myself racing against the clock to study study cram cram!

where's a self-fulfilling prochecy when you need one.

this will be my last blogentry until after os.


a very disturbing feeling that's been foreign to me for 4 years is starting to introduce itself again. a mixture of anxiety, hope, nausea, anxiety, and anticipation. anxiety that i have 'unfinished business that i wont be able to fulfill after i leave, eg. ill-spent april fool's days. and of course do i have enough time do i have enough effing timmme?

and the nausea at the prospect that however much i've liked the time i spent at st margs, i may see it again for a whole nother year,

anticipation, GREAT anticipation of things to come. the fun, the drama, the lights, the music! the hope of finding a new lease of life i have for so long left aside in hope of studting but resulting in inevitable procrastination. my last chance, with no time to waste on shoulda coulda wouldas, but focusing instead on must carry on. what will i be doing this time next month? year? decade? i hate being so pensieve, but at the eve of a life changing exam it's hard not to consider all possible prospects. what if what if what if.

will i see anyone again, will i be happy next year? i know i will most definetaly cry at the end of feb 2007, just the knowledge of whether the tears will be joyous or angsty i have yet to possess.

a song i may suggest, for relieving stress, would be crying BY AEROSMITH. it's sufficiently angry and strangely uplifting.


to everyone i know taking to o levels- whatever the outcome, i hope you'll still be able to do what you've always dreamed of doing. i hope you go far, and i hope you do everything in your power to make sure that on the last day you walk out of the exam hall, you are content, and without regret. i hope to share in your tears of joy :)


love you ALL, and thank you for your unconditional tolerance!

heres a blog-old question:

what do we blog FOR?

self-entertainment? entertainment, period? self-therapy?

well, any of the above you may pick, but i honestly blog because there simply isnt anything else to do.

i mean, it's not a LAST RESORT, like homework. it's more of, "hmm, what to do? blog lah!' and i truly truly HATE blogging about nothing in particular. isnt that selfish? lie other people want to know every single mundane detail about your life.


unless of course, someone out there has a MAD CRUSH on me, and desperately wants to know that my favourite colours range from red to pink, and that next valentine's i'd expect a box of cadbury froggies and pink carnations.

well, on to more important things, i have decided, to come out of the closet.


NONO, not the closets where secret lesbians hide, but the one where passionate lovers of this movie are forced to dwell, shunned by society, ridiculed and laughed at.
here goes.


i think titanic is the most BRILLIANT movie ever EVER made.

i can't say anymore, because i may burst into passionate tears (haha) but honestly, it is THE BEST love story ever written, the most perfect kind of love, with the most BRILLIANT music score, and leo de caprio, of course.

and this is a big SHUT UP YOU STUPID PRATT to all those who don't like kate winslet cos she's FAT.

alright, im done, and I CANT WAIT FOR DEPAVALI!

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